Saturday 12 March 2022

Tales from the Pommritz Cinnamon Dung Brothel

 Now that I have your attention...

The following catologue of woe is based on our annual Christmas game from 2021 (or maybe even earlier), which, due to restrictions on movement, effort and even being bothered, was pushed back until today. (What? You mean it isn't still Christmas?)

 

Frederick's, apprently just weakened, and terribly outnumbered and weak force, surrounded by angry Austrians and a few plucky Irishmen and gypsies ...I mean, game balance...yes game balance...

The game is a more linearly balanced version of the famous Seven Years War battle/debacle at Hochkirch in 1758, using the even more famous Koenig Krieg rules ( with KK3 and a lot of house ruling from Steiner & Steve).

 'Historians generally consider the battle as among Frederick's greatest blunders. Contrary to the advice of his subordinates, he refused to believe that the typically cautious Austrian commander Leopold von Daun would bring his troops into battle. The Austrian force ambushed his army in a pre-dawn attack. Over 30% of Frederick's army was defeated; five generals were killed and he lost his artillery park and a vast quantity of supplies. Although Daun had scored a complete surprise, his attempt to pursue the retreating Prussians was unsuccessful. The escaped force united with another corps in the vicinity, and regained momentum over the winter.'

(hmmm we had somewhat different outcomes)

I was inevitably a little late to the game, which appeared to have started with a focus on the town of Pommritz (if I were French, I would swear I could smell the 'f' in chips or something - see what I did there?).

We played the 3rd edition of this very old set of rules (not this cover, but I am into old stuff). It's really ahead of its time, with a lovely initiative system. A few 'issue' areas tidied up by the period experts. A lot depends on initiative, and it can be very deadly/bloody.

Surrounded by 80,000 angry Austrians, Prussians would be woken from their tents to find themselves under attack on all sides, with only a puny force of 30,000ish wily, fast, excellent shots (bitter? me?) ... to make good a counterattack or escape.  Would they force a draw, or even a victory on the table today (amendements for balance made by the ref, notwithstanding).

 Being late, I missed the opening shots, and the discussion of the 'Pink Palace' at Pommritz, which from thence was known as the 'Pommritz Brothel'. I shall explain the inevitable answer to your questions related to Cinnamon Dung, latterly...

Apparently, not a brothel? I know, right? (the name of the village has been changed to Pommitz here, obviously to protect the innocent)

Prussian defences at Hochkirch - note the topmost Grenadier stand...which would hang about all day, and apparently should win some sort of prize for bravery or something

Noble and brilliantly led Austrians, advancing toward certain vistory ...huzzah!!! (I'm not biased, am I?)

Nahhh mate, definitely a house of ill repute...

'ere...that bloody hoorhaus is nicking all my customers...'

'Sie kommen meinen Herren, Sie kommen sehr schnell!'

Austrian attack in the centre - would be beaten back all day long, though did eventually wear down the defenders



You can see Austrian flanking moves on their left, and the Austrian attack in the centre. The left would see fighting all day as Prussian cavalry flung themselves against Austrian bayonets, and Prussian infantry valiantly survived most of the day, despite enfilading fire.

Yep...those guys

The 'Hand of God' available to move decorative terrain pieces at a mere whim.


First Prussian cavalry attacks on Austrian left


A larger cavalry action on the Austrian right, as reinforcements start to arrive

Close in action all day long at Hochkirch.




Austrian left: Prussian cavalry gets bloodied in repeated assaults. Hochkirch at centre top.



charge...


A bloodied Austrian line facing tough Prussian defence. Cavalry actions on the flanks, and a costly push in the centre.



Austrians close on Hochkirch by turns 10-11.

Last men standing...

Prussian reinforcements head for the brothel.






Near game end, and despite Austrian triumphs in various areas, they were not taking Hochkirch. Despite a Prussian Army morale check (passed), it was looking like a draw.

View on Austrian centre and right. Massive cavalry action on the right, centre in doubt with Hochkirch not taken, and left secure, though vulnerable to Prussian reinforcements.

Last man standing - these grenadiers valiantly hung on all day at Hochkirke





By game end, we were looking at a draw. Prussians had passed an army morale check, Austrians were bloodied in the centre, and reinforcements were set to enter for both sides. We went for dinner at this stage. A great game as usual at John's.

And so to the Cinnamon Dung ...This was John's (General Daun) Gin & Tonic, imbibed at stressful times throughout the battle. Apparently the cinnamon sticks are flavoursome, though it was remarked, on more than one occasion, that he might have 'sh*t in his glass' ...no really, the story is that simple. I leave it to you, oh loyal viewer.

Daun's last words while drinking his gin'n'sh*t   ...'we wuz robbed!'